


New direction

by AngelofDarkness1605



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2792006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelofDarkness1605/pseuds/AngelofDarkness1605
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watching her powerless husband limp away from Storybrooke and out of her life, Belle decides that both of them deserve a happier ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New direction

No matter how difficult it is, Belle forces herself to turn around after all and watch her husband struggle on the other side of the town line. Her vision is blurred with tears, but she tells herself that she _has_ to see this, that she can’t look away from the man she just forced out of her life. This might as well be the first step into accepting the decisions that have led to this, both his and her own.

Indeed, this is probably the last time she'll ever see him.

After his betrayal, her heart breaks all over again as Rumplestiltskin pleads with her with tears streaming down his face, begging for her. She swallows heavily and blinks stubbornly, but there’s no easing the lump in her throat, no holding back the salty liquid running down her own cheeks.

“Belle, _please_ …”

She knows that this is the only way, that this is the only possible outcome. She refuses to be his second choice just like she refuses his desire for power to continue harming those around her, to further darken his heart and soul.

But that doesn’t make it any easier to see her husband like this, her _True Love_. There’s a fear in him she has never witnessed before, a blind despair that takes her breath away. She doesn’t know whether he mourns the loss of her or the loss of his power the most, but this raw vulnerability and sheer terror tells her something about the man she married she did not yet know.

Just like there are so many other things Belle presumes she still doesn't know about him.

She tells herself that she continues to stand there to watch him out of respect for the life they had - for the _marriage_ they had. She tries to persuade herself that she must see this through to the very end.

But the truth is that she simply can’t move away as her marriage and life alike shatter and burn around her, her feet rooted to the road beneath her, to the asphalt that absorbs her tears.

He can’t see her, she knows that, can’t be certain whether she is still there. He might as well think that she has left as soon as she forced him over the town line. And yet, he is still right where he fell down when his bad leg gave out.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he mumbles, looking in her general direction with frantic eyes. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers. Whether she likes it or not, that will probably never change. Even now she wishes that it would have been different, that Rumplestiltskin wouldn't have given in to darkness inside of him, that he would have _fought_.

He just sits there for a long time, utterly defeated and lost, embracing his sorrow and dismay like it has always been a part of him. He still is turned towards her, every once in a while pointlessly reaching out for her. His for once completely open expression tells her that he’s fully aware of the fruitlessness of that action.

Only after a long time he moves to stand up, with considerably difficulty. Belle winces at the extent of the old injury of his ankle, turning out to be so much more severe than she always thought now that he is both without magic and his cane.

She wonders whether _this_ is what he was like before he became the Dark One, whether this is what he is without the power he has craved for so long.

With the help of both his palms on the asphalt, Rumplestiltskin manages to push himself to his feet, still facing her direction. Only then he turns around, limping heavily and painfully slowly away from the town line. He stops every few moments to cast another teary, heartbreaking glance over his shoulder… and to catch his breath, by the looks of it.

The discovery that she can’t bear this hits Belle like a physical blow, bringing her to her knees just like her True Love.

“ _Rumple_ ,” she whimpers, despite knowing that he can’t hear her.

Her tears not ceasing to fall, she realizes that she can’t do this, can’t carry the consequences of her choices… or at least, not the way she initially intended, wholly overwhelmed by anger and sadness.

For better or worse, she has condemned both of them to misery.

Her thoughts gradually clearing, Belle is increasingly aware that he expressed no anger whatsoever when she forced him over the town line, out of her life... out of his own life, in a lot of ways. Even when the pain of what he perceived as her betrayal all but destroyed him, her True Love didn’t lash out at her like he once was prone to do, in a different world... in a different lifetime.

Despite everything, they have come a very long way.

Despite everything, Belle can't bring herself to throw that away.

On the horizon, Rumplestiltskin reaches the first curve of the road out of town. With a heavy heart, she watches him look back in her direction for one more, almost endless while, then drag his way out of her view.

When it dawns on her that until a few hours ago she wanted nothing more than to explore the very world that Rumplestiltskin is currently heading into all alone, a plan begins to rapidly unfold in her mind.

In a way, this might be the best chance at a happy ending they’ll ever get.

Having made up her mind, Belle doesn’t want to lose another moment. Taking in a deep breath, she takes off her heels and runs back to town.

~

Belle briefly closes her eyes when she drives over the town line in the black Cadillac, only slightly taking back her considerable speed. Just like she presumed, there’s nothing but a shimmer of magic when she crosses the line, announcing her departure from Storybrooke.

Once more in the same realm as her husband, she increases the pressure of her foot on the pedal just like he taught her, only a few weeks ago. Her hands tremble around the steering wheel as she drives considerably faster than she has ever done before.

She can keep telling herself for all she likes that there’s only one road out of Storybrooke, that he can’t have gone far in the state he was in, but she only barely manages to keep the panic at bay regardless.

Belle has packed as quickly as she possibly could, adding his belongings to the ones of herself that already were in suitcases, but she fears with ever growing certainty that she has taken too long after all, that she won’t be able to find him back.

Forcing herself to just _drive_ rather than fret whether she should have caught up with him by now or not, her heart sinks to her stomach when she reaches a crossroad, the road ahead going in three different ways.

Of course she can try all three options, to drive and return to this point until she has found him, but he’ll only get further away from her in the meantime, not knowing that she’s coming after him. Anything might happen now that he is like this, thoroughly vulnerable both physically and emotionally, and…

She’s accelerating again before her eyes have finished reading the name ‘New York City’ on a sign on the opposite side of the road, barely preventing herself from crashing into a car that comes lurching from the right as she turns left.

Inhaling a shaking breath and telling herself to _focus_ , Belle frantically looks on both sides of the road, hoping with all her might that her intuition doesn’t betray her, that her husband has really gone in the direction of the city where they talked about having their honeymoon only this morning.

Not allowing herself to get caught up in the memories, in the _lie_ of it all, she focuses on the few other cars on the road instead. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if she were to get in an accident now.

After what might be a few seconds or a few minutes, she spots a slowly, unevenly moving figure ahead of her in the distance on the other side of the road, leaning heavily on an improvised cane. The silhouette is both thoroughly familiar and utterly strange.

Making certain that there’s no car behind her when she hits the brakes, Belle parks the car on the side of the forest road, never taking her eyes off her husband. He just hobbles on, seeming to shrink yet further into himself when she gets out of the car. She takes his cane with her, holding it behind her back.

Having the presence of mind to check for cars before she crosses the road, she watches him struggle a few hundred yards ahead of her. No matter how unfamiliar his gait and posture is to her, she can’t help but notice that there’s a certain ease in his movements, no matter how painful they are to watch. Once upon a time, her husband must have been very much used to walking just like this.

“Rumplestiltskin, wait!” she eventually exclaims purposefully.

He immediately stands still, but it takes a long while before he turns around to face her. Despite the distance between them, she can all but feel his disbelieving relief when he finally looks at her.

No matter how much Belle would like to rush towards him and pull him into her embrace, she remains right where she is, wanting to see what her husband is going to do.

He takes a first hesitant step towards her, then another one. He’s got quite some distance to cross, but with pained determination he limps towards her, gaining more speed than she had thought possible. With every single step, he leans heavily on what turns out to be a long, thin branch from a tree.

Rumplestiltskin slows down however before he reaches her, his wide eyes telling her that it’s not discomfort that causes this – or at least, not of the physical kind.

“Belle?” he asks in a small, trembling voice, his disbelief almost palpable. “Is that you?”

She simply nods in response, wondering what must have gone through his mind since she forced him out of Storybrooke, what might have caused him to doubt his own eyes like this.

He continues until he is right in front of her, all that time looking like he doesn’t believe she is truly there. Only when he reaches out for her with a shaking hand and brushes his index finger against her arm, as if to make certain that she isn’t an illusion after all, he seems somewhat convinced that she really has come after him.

He remains entirely quiet, but his face yells at her in despair. Belle swallows with difficulty. It’s almost yet more difficult to see Rumplestiltskin like this now that they are face to face.

Rather than saying anything, he heavily sinks down to his knees in front of her, lowering his head. She doesn’t know whether he begs for forgiveness or welcomes her anger, just like she can’t determine whether she is upset or sad or relieved or whether she can’t feel anything at all.

Belle is very certain however that she has made the right choice, that she couldn’t let him go the way she initially did. Still not saying anything herself, she just closes the distance between them, letting him rest his head against her stomach and caressing his disheveled hair.

He’s crying then, _sobbing_ against her, and the tears start pouring down her own face again as well. But she isn’t nearly as desperate and heart-broken as she was before, with the town line between them.

It’s definitely relief that’s rushing through her when he buries his face into her coat and wraps his arms around her waist, clinging to her.

“I’m so sorry, Belle. I don’t know how I can make this better. I don’t know how I can truly be a better man for you. I suppose I never have.”

She still doesn’t answer, doesn’t give in to the ever growing urge to throw herself into his arms and tell him that everything is going to be fine, that _they_ are going to be fine. No matter how tempting that is, how easy it might be, it wouldn’t solve anything, wouldn’t force him to take the first step onto the road of true change.

“But I love you, sweetheart. I love you so much. You _were_ enough, for a while. But then I lost Bae, and… I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you as well. I needed to protect you. I needed _power_ to protect you. But I lost _myself_ to Zelena rather than protecting you from her... I kept seeing that I wasn't strong enough, not powerful enough, to make certain that you were safe.”

Rumplestiltskin looks up at her, raw and open and probably more honest than he has ever been with her.

“You should have told me. We should have talked about it, together,” Belle says, breaking her own silence. “You went behind my back to do what you _knew_ was wrong.”

“I did,” he simply replies, very quietly.

“We could have found a way together, Rumple. A _better_ way.”

“I don’t think you would have understood,” he says, lowering his head again. “Or rather, you would have understood too well. I _am_ a coward.”

“I don’t believe that,” she firmly replies, thinking back of the times when he fought for their love when she could not, when he gave his own life for his son and for her. “But I do begin to believe that you truly can’t give up on dark magic out of your free will.”

He further lowers himself at her feet, silently confirming her worst suspicion.

But at least he appears to be truly honest with her this time, her proud, dignified husband all but groveling at her feet on the side of the road, cars passing by every once in a while.

It’s a better new beginning than she could have imagined when she found him crushing Hook’s heart.

“I just hope that you won’t find a new power to cling to in this world without magic.”

His head snaps up in hopeful confusion.

“Why did you come after me?” he rasps, reaching for but not quite touching the hem of her skirt.

“I realized that I might as well see the world on my own,” Belle replies, gauging his every reaction. “And then I realized you would be free from your curse here.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but wisely closes it again when she squats down to face him properly.

“I’m not letting you take away both our happy endings, you stupid, _foolish_ man.”

Then she’s in his arms, and he’s in hers, tears falling generously once more. But this time they’re definitely an expression of relief when she holds on to her husband, the man she can’t imagine living without. Belle is grateful that he just holds her without saying anything. His body at least has never deceived her.

“Let’s go somewhere nice together,” she whispers against his neck. “A place where you don’t need power, where it’ll be just the two of us.”

She moves slightly away from him to trail her fingertips down his damp cheek as he nods frantically, savoring the way he immediately leans into her touch, closing his eyes.

Rumplestiltskin continues sitting just like that for a long while, savoring this moment of hope and opportunity as much as she is. Then he opens his eyes again and smiles tentatively, not quite as disbelieving as before.

“I don’t want you to promise me to be a good man, Rumplestiltskin. I don’t want you to change for _me_ either. I want you to prove to me that you are a good man, to _show_ me. But you’ve got to do it for yourself. You’ve got to _want_ it, to truly understand that our marriage can only work if you make the right choices... if we are entirely honest with each other.”

She regards him when he bows his head once more, almost shamefully, knowing what she’s asking of him.

“You don’t have to do it alone, Rumple. I’ll be right with you every step of the way. But you’ve got to let me try to help you. You’ve got to let me in.”

He looks up again, his eyes moist.

“I want that, sweetheart. I want that so much. But you _know_ me. You know who I am, _what_ I am. I’ve tried to be a good man before, but I always failed. And what you told me at the town line, about losing yourself trying to help me… I can’t do that to you, Belle. I don’t _want_ to do that to you.”

“I don't want that either. But I don't think I have to. I think this is the best new start we’ve made so far. I think we can do this, in this new world without magic. Just us.”

“You’ve always been my strength,” he says, tentatively taking her hand in his own. “And now that Bae is gone, you are my everything. When you sent me away at the town line… I wouldn’t know what to do without you, Belle. Losing you was worse than losing my power. I’ve found that I truly can’t be without you. Knowing that… I want to earn your trust back, Belle, to deserve your love. To be a man who won’t disappoint you.”

“Let’s travel the world, together,” she says as his eyes are bright with sincerity and careful hope, offering him her hand. “Let's make a new life for ourselves, a life where you won't need power.”

“I would love that, sweetheart. It would be my honor and my pleasure.”

“Well then, _husband_ ,” she breathes once she can stop stupidly smiling at him with teary eyes. “What are we waiting for?”

She offers him her hand and helps him get onto his feet, relieved when he stands tall and strong once more, his expression bright with renewed faith and hope.

Belle offers him the cane she is still holding. Instead of taking it, he continues to hold her hand and places it over his rapidly beating heart.

“This is yours,” Rumplestiltskin says, entwining their fingers. “It always has been.”

He looks at her insistently, his eyes telling her that she may not literally hold his heart in her hand, but that she has the same power over it regardlessly.

“Just like my heart is yours,” she replies, taking his hand and placing it over her own. “But don’t crush it again. I couldn’t bear it.”

He nods solemnly, cradling her hand more firmly to his chest, almost as if to invite her to crush his heart if he were to ever hurt her again.

“Let’s go get our happy ending,” she eventually says, gently removing her hand from his chest.

“Let’s go see the world,” he replies, a hint of a tentative smile on his face.

He takes his cane in his right hand and wraps his left arm carefully around her waist at her nod of approval.

“I parked your car down the road,” she says, only realizing when his face lights up that he didn’t know yet that she got the car and that they don’t have to explore the planet with only their feet for assistance. “I packed as well.”

Despite the circumstances, Belle can’t help but giggle at his surprise.

“I packed _a lot_. And I ransacked your safes, freed them of all valuable non-magical objects. You really should know better than to use the date of our first reunion in this world as the code.”

“You truly are a miracle,” he sighs, straightening himself with what must be relief of a more material reason.

Her smile falls slightly at the realization that he wasn’t aware until now that she has made certain that this next part of their life is going to be very comfortable indeed… that he was so very happy to see her without knowing that she had taken with her the means to keep them off the streets and out of poverty; to keep them from the very life she had initially condemned him to without quite meaning it.

They head towards the car together. Although he is once more using his cane, Rumplestiltskin doesn’t nearly walk as easily as he did before he magically cured his old injury in Storybrooke. Wrapping her arm around his waist and encouraging him to lean more heavily on her, she wonders what life must have been like for him before he became the Dark One… whether the fear he expressed just before she made him cross the town line is caused by what might have happened when he was a mortal man, like he is now once more.

“There is one more thing we have to take care of before we can leave,” she says when they reach the car, opening one of its doors without taking her arm off him to reveal the dagger lying on the passenger seat.

Both of them know that it is useless here, but Belle watches him closely regardlessly, once more very interested in what he is going to do.

“I don’t ever want to see this again,” he says, reaching forward with lingering difficulty to pick it up. “But there’s no way of destroying it, neither here or in Storybrooke.”

“I know,” she says, very much aware that that is exactly what her husband has tried to do all along.

Angling the dagger away from both of them, he nods at the forests next to the road. She nods, understanding and wholeheartedly agreeing.

They make their way between the trees, slowly but surely leaving the road at a considerable distance behind them. Rumplestiltskin closes his eyes while he walks, despite the difficulty that the uneven terrain poses for him. He trusts her to lead him through the trees unharmed… to guide him to a place that he can never find again even if he wanted to.

“This will do,” she says when they reach a spot that looks particularly unremarkable.

He opens his eyes and lowers himself to his knees with a grunt of pain once more. Throwing the dagger aside, he brushes the wet pines and needles aside until he reaches the damp ground. Without hesitation, he begins to dig into the earth with his bare hands.

Belle watches him from where she stands, hoping with all her might that he is burying more than a by now hardly more than metaphorical object here.

“Help me?” he asks quietly, looking up at her.

She nods in agreement, sitting down on her knees opposite him, the hole he is digging situated between them. He is perfectly capable of performing this task on his own, but it’s all the rest that he needs her assistance with, the aftermath that has just begun and of which she has no idea how long it will last.

Making the hole deeper together, they do the best they can to ensure that the symbol of his power and weakness alike will never see the light of day again. It’s almost satisfying to dig her fingers into the cold, hard earth, to have the dirt make its way underneath her nails. After all, he asked her help for this, acknowledged that he can’t do this alone, that he knows that she wants to help him get over his need for power.

When the hole is so deep that they can’t go any further simply because neither of their admittedly not very long arms extends far enough, Rumplestiltskin picks up the dagger one final time. Holding it between them, the sharp edge turned away from both of them, Rumplestiltskin offers half of the hilt to her.

Together, they place the dagger at the bottom of the hole, their foreheads resting against one another in order to get close enough to do so. They release the metal simultaneously, then move back to push the pile of dirt back where it came from.

Working together in silence, they don’t stop until the hole has been completely filled, then even the ground between them and put the pines and needles back over it for good measure.

When it looks like the ground was never disturbed, like nothing of such importance is buried for good there, he reaches out for her, entwining their dirt-covered hands.

Belle nods in approval. Shuffling towards him on her knees, he pulls her against him with welcoming arms, burying his face in her hair. She sniffles a little against him, beyond relieved that they can still have this kind of closeness after all.

“ _Thank you_ ,” he breathes against her skin, pressing a tender kiss against her neck.

“We can do this, Rumple,” she says, slightly moving back to brush her lips against his forehead. “We can find a way, together.”

He nods, his smile yet more certain than before, and pulls her against him again. Belle savors her husband’s embrace for a good, long while, hoping that he feels as secure and glad as she does while she strokes his back with reassuring, soothing hands.

“Let’s go,” she says at length, getting somewhat sore sitting there like that, despite the comfort of his body. Besides, there’s a new life awaiting the two of them, right outside the forest.

He withdraws with obvious reluctance, immediately taking her hand when she offers it to him to help him get back on his feet once more.

Looking at their dirt-covered hands, he makes a familiar gesture to clean them. Only a brief twitch of his mouth shows that he’s surprised for just a moment that there is no purple smoke to get rid of the mud with magic.

“It’ll just fall off,” she says, pointedly brushing the dirt off her own hands.

“It will,” he replies, following her example.

They slowly make their way back to the road, never looking back as they lean on one another. Once they’ve reached the car, Rumplestiltskin chuckles a little when he sees just how much of their belongings she has managed to stash into the car in such a short time - and how many of them are books.

But what matters is that the dagger is gone, both from the car and their life.

“I drive,” she says, guiding him to the passenger’s side of the car and taking the keys out of her pocket.

“Sounds perfect,” he replies, lowering himself onto the seat with a sigh of relief.

Getting behind the wheel and starting the car, she smiles at Rumplestiltskin. He briefly puts his hand over hers on the steering wheel, offering her another small, hopeful smile of his own.

Making herself comfortable for the drive ahead and glancing at her husband at her side every once in a short while, Belle drives the car back onto the road, heading straight for the horizon.


End file.
